In this recent newsletter from Oliver Burkemann (author of Four Thousand Weeks – I highly recommend both his newsletter and book), I was intrigued by his thoughts on what it means to be “done for the day.” As someone who wrestles with somewhat unrealistic expectations of how much focused work I can accomplish on any given day, I appreciated his take on setting boundaries for what the “end of day” looks like for anyone who struggles with completion of their daily to-do list.
What does this look like on any given day for me? It could be a day with an in-person, on-site work session with a client, and a few virtual coaching sessions, with some focused, creative work (blog writing, course creation, prepping for presentations) or client research and notes sandwiched in between. Maybe errands slotted in to and from a destination. Throw in a networking event in the morning or evening, answering emails, or dealing with a family event or obligation, and my days fill far more quickly than I anticipate. Yet still I find myself in front of my laptop, trying to start or finish yet another project well into the evening hours, and never feeling quite satisfied at what I’ve actually accomplished for the day. Too many times, I’ve slammed the lid shut on my computer because my eyes are painfully itchy and tired, or my brain is simply…DONE! This always leads me to the uncomfortable feeling that I COULD do more, SHOULD do more, but I need to acknowledge that my resources are depleted.
Burkemann offers some great insight when he writes, “When you end the day feeling like there’s vastly more you ought to have done, you’re telling your nervous system it can’t take a break; and you’re reinforcing an idea of your work as an oppressive and insatiable force. And all of that invites a counter-reaction of procrastination: due to fear, or defiance, or a mixture of both, it gets harder and harder to make yourself work.”
…What you realize, the moment you ask ‘what would it mean to be done for the day?’, is that the answer can’t possibly involve doing all the things that need doing – even though that’s the subconscious goal with which many of us approach life, driving ourselves crazy in the process. If there are a thousand things that need doing, you’re going to need to arrive at some definition of ‘finished’ that doesn’t encompass them all.”
What’s the answer? It will be different for everyone, of course. But if you find yourself fighting this same feeling of “when can I give myself permission to stop” in your life, I recommend trying a few of these five tips that I’ve found helpful in overcoming that nagging “never done” feeling.
1. Focus on Impact, Not Just Completion
Instead of obsessing over checking off every single item, focus on the impact of the tasks you do complete. Prioritize high-impact activities that move you closer to your goals. Even if you leave some smaller tasks unfinished, knowing you’ve worked on what matters most can leave you feeling accomplished.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
One of the reasons we feel unproductive is because we set overly ambitious goals for what we can achieve in a day. It’s crucial to know your limits. Set realistic daily goals by breaking larger projects into smaller, manageable tasks. This reduces overwhelm and gives you a clear sense of progress.
3. Celebrate Small Wins
Don’t wait until everything is done to celebrate. Take a moment to acknowledge your progress throughout the day. Even small wins—like responding to a tricky email, attending a meeting, or taking a break—deserve recognition. These moments contribute to your overall productivity.
4. Define What “Done” Means for You
A big part of feeling accomplished is setting clear boundaries. At the start of each day, define what success will look like. This might be working for a certain number of hours, making progress on a key task, or simply doing your best. Having a personal “done” criteria gives you permission to stop at a reasonable time, rather than pushing yourself to exhaustion.
5. Reflect at the End of the Day
Finally, take five minutes at the end of the day to reflect on what you’ve accomplished. Write down what you’re proud of, the progress you’ve made, and what can wait until tomorrow. This reflection process can help shift your focus away from what’s left undone and toward everything you did achieve.
By focusing on impact, celebrating progress, and setting healthy boundaries, you can leave each day feeling “done” even when your to-do list still has a few unchecked boxes. Productivity isn’t just about finishing—it’s about progress and balance.
